Youth Protection
Talking With Your Teenager

With summertime right around the corner, your teens will have more free time on their hands. We all know what that means. Take the time before summer starts to talk to your teen about their free time and ways to use it and things to stay away from. Read the following article about how to talk to your teen.

PARENTING TIPS NEWSLETTER
TheAntiDrug.com
Distribution Date: 12/07/06

Silence Isn't Golden; It's Permission

No loving relationship can exist without good communication. Teens believe they have valuable things to say, and when a parent genuinely listens, it helps self-esteem and confidence. It will take more than five minutes to talk to your teen about drugs and alcohol - it's about building an ongoing dialogue.

Don't be discouraged if your teen acts like he doesn't want to talk. Teens may become defensive during your conversation less because of what you're saying than because of why they think you're saying it. Here are three steps to help guide you during these crucial conversations:

1) State what you don't intend and what you do intend.

2) Be flexible about when you talk, but not about whether you talk. Control is a huge issue for teens. Sometimes parents provoke an unnecessary confrontation by demanding that conversations be on their terms and their timeframe.

3) Create a "safety reserve" by creating safety even when there are no
problems.

Take time to think about your teen, and determine when a good time is for them to talk. Remember, being flexible doesn't mean that you're turning the reins over to  your teen; you're simply showing your teen that you respect his space while still being in control of the conversation. Think about when your teen is most talkative - after school, after they've finished homework, after practice, before dinner, etc. Choose that time to start a dialogue.

Practice before speaking to him about drug use. Go through scenarios of what could happen during the conversation, but above all, make the time to talk with your teen. You're aiming for a two-way, face-to-face conversation that gives your teen room to disagree with you and communicate a different point of view. After the conversation, ask yourself who did most of the talking. If your teen didn't do at least 25 percent of it, you didn't ask enough questions - or didn't create enough safety to allow your teen to participate fully.

For more information go to:  Start a Conversation